Things You Don’t Want to Hear while Trail Running



About a month ago. while traveling to our long Saturday run, we were sharing stories of previous miss-adventures when I started to recognize a pattern of common themes of trail runs gone bad. So I thought I should write some of them down.  The following is a list of things I’ve heard or experienced over the years running trails.

On the way to the Trailhead

  1. Sorry I slept in this morning
  2. I can’t see their tail lights anymore
  3. Don’t worry, I know where it is
  4. Do you think there is a gas station out here?
  5. Text or voicemail from home, “Where the hell are you?”

At the Trailhead

  1. What pace are we going to run?
  2. Did you bring any water?
  3. Do you think they will be checking for parking passes today?
  4. Do you have an extra pair of shoes?
  5. Does anyone have an extra pair of insoles?
  6. I think this is the wrong spot

On the Trail

  1. Is your headlamp bright enough for both of us?
  2. Was I supposed to bring something to eat?
  3. Will this cotton T shirt be enough if it rains?
  4. Is there a shorter loop we can do?
  5. Go ahead, I’ll catch up later
  6. Did you bring a map?
  7. Didn’t we just run past this?
  8. I think I sprained my ankle
  9. Is that just a really big dog track?
  10. Let’s go, she’ll be fine!
  11. This intersection looks different from last time I was here.
  12. Do you have anything for chafing?
  13. I think I’ll be ok, do you have an epi pen?
  14. Can you help me find my contact?
  15. Is that arrow pointing the right way?
  16. Something is dripping from your pack
  17. Where are we?
  18. Weren’t they supposed to meet us here?
  19. The trail is closed ahead but I think we can still run it!


Back at the Trailhead

  1. Did I give you my keys?
  2. Do you know how to break into a locked car?
  3. Do you think we can find someone with jumper cables?
  4. Text or voicemail from home, “Where the hell are you?”


I’m sure you have experienced some or all of these at some point. I know there are many more out there. If you have some good ones, add a comment!

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